Of Moats and High Stonewalls. Folha de S.Paulo published a very interesting feature today about the changes in the urban landscape as the Brazilian middle and upper-middle classes encroach themselves in high-security condominiums to protect themselves against violence. The end result, of course, is that they cut themselves off from the full exercise of citizenship and become the prisioners of their own paranoya.

The feature is called The Architecture of Fear (subscription required or just click here). The feature is truly interesting, with photographs, analysis from sociologists, psychoanalists and archicture students, a glossary of medieval/contemporary security fixtures (surveillance towers, wall-mounted spearheads, moats, etc) and a semiotic analysis of the text of real estate ads from 95 on.

It reminded very much of Marcio Kogan's and Isay Weinfeld's installation on the Bienal de São Paulo, only it was a little more terrifying, because it's not a miniature model, it's a gigantic castle of fears.

In case you're wondering, I am currently apartment-hunting in São Paulo, and trust me, the number of security cameras in the complex is not the standard I go by. And since we're talking home and garden, Lugar Comum a lovely place to start looking for creative ideas for a new living space.

Carnaval. It's been a long time since I posted, but before the hiatus broadens so that I begin eyeing the Blogger interface with the same guilty countenance I have when I meet friends I have neglected for long, let me make a little post about Carnaval. Truth of the matter is that I don't really like this time of folly and overcrowded highways, especially when the thermomether has climbed to the upper 100s and when perched there, the marker grimaces and throws you raspberries saying that it simply won't come down. Two nights ago in Piracicaba we had to sleep under damp towels to cool down, never mind the ceiling fan turned on at full throtle.

But Carnaval is here or so I am reminded by the kiddie activities going on. Since no Carnaval is complete without a costume, the Young Mermie and I went shopping for an outfit last week. Since the reais are clinking ever more slowly in my bank account, we went to Fradinho's Presentes, a cheap neighborhood store which attires itself according to the seasonal mood. When it's Halloween, this gringolandia fest that only in the past 10 years has been celebrated in Brazil, Fradinho's is all about skulls and witches. Easter? Bunnies and chocolate eggs galore can be acquired at discounted rates Fradinho's, which also possesses a bootleg Barbie line that's the envy of the street peddlers of Taiwan. But I am sure that the readers are more interested in the trinkets that make up a traditional Carnaval stash of goodies.

I bought the Mermie a bisnaga d'água, um martelo sonoro, confete, serpentina in addition to a white and silver ballerina costume at an astounding size 8 (the Mermie is 3 years old, but tall and chunky and getting chunkier). I think I was probably much more excited than the Mermie about the Carnaval Day at Tartaruga School, because I sent her dressed in full regalia and with the martelo sonoro in hand one day before schedule. Hmmm. Very interesting indeed, considering how one of my earliest memories is going to a day trip to the zoo, packed with a special lunch box containing boiled eggs and all of my animal figurines, only to discover that the day trip was supposed to be the next day. I remember feeling quite dismayed at my mom's lack of attention to the kiddie agenda and protocols. Luckily, the Mermie has less regard to conventions than I did, because the teacher reported she was only too glad to parade in the sandbox with her dainty ballerina outfit while the other kids wore their drab navy blue uniforms.

The next day we improvised another costume for her, this time, a pink ballerina tutu with a Little Mermaid maillot, not as dashing as the first one, I'm afraid. So now she has two costumes to choose from when we go to the Clube Athletico Paulistano Matinée Ball next Fat Tuesday. The Hairy Hungarian and I will be also attending the Monday Ball at the Paulistano, not that I care much about these balls, which only remind me of the drunken Carnavais of my teenage years. But the Hairy Hungarian is a foreigner and has no recollections of the follies of yesteryear and he likes to party hard, even with a busted knee.

The good thing about Carnaval is that it lasts only five days. I couldn't take the continuous broadcasting of the desfile de escolas de samba, with that poor sound quality that makes every samba-enredo sound the same, although watching the naked girls is fun, I admit it.

What I really like about Carnaval, however, is neither the excitement nor the glitter and masquerades. In the days preceding and following Carnaval, what I really love is looking under bridges and overpasses for the carros alegóricos. The escolas de samba many times lack the space to store them, so they are left unattended under bridges, the costumary home of the homeless. You can spot them along the major thoroughfares or in forgotten alleyways, shining like a miracle under the scorching sun, never complete and admirable as you seem them on TV, but rather downtrodden or half-built, the matte ossature showing through the sparkles of illusion. At once an augury and a summation of the euphory on the streets.

Café com Leite. "In the United States if you are not quite white, then you are black. But in Brazil, if you are not quite black, then you are white."

The Origins of the Brazilian Bureaucracy. Like all good jokes, this one is thoroughly politically incorrect, sexist and biased. The Hairy Eyeball is so outraged by my lack of diplomacy that he posted a translation into English. Here is the controversial joke, clearly devised by an equal opportunity geopolitical offender.

Num arquipélago maravilhoso e isolado, naufragaram:

Dois italianos e uma italiana;
Dois franceses e uma francesa;
Dois alemães e uma alemã;
Dois gregos e uma grega;
Dois ingleses e uma inglesa;
Dois búlgaros e uma búlgara;
Dois japoneses e uma japonesa;
Dois chineses e uma chinesa;
Dois americanos e uma americana;
Dois irlandeses e uma irlandesa;
Dois portugueses e uma portuguesa.



Passado um mês, nestas maravilhosas ilhas,passava-se o seguinte:


Um italiano matou o outro italiano por causa da italiana;

Os dois franceses e a francesa vivem felizes juntos num "ménage-à-trois";

Os dois alemães marcaram um horário rigoroso de visitas alternadas à alemã;

Os dois gregos dormem um com o outro e a grega limpa e cozinha para eles;

Os dois ingleses aguardam que alguém os apresente à inglesa;

Os dois búlgaros olharam longamente para o oceano, depois olharam longamente para a búlgara e depois começaram a nadar;

Os dois japoneses enviaram um e-mail para Tóquio e aguardam instruções;

Os dois chineses abriram uma farmácia/bar/restaurante/lavandaria e engravidaram a chinesa para lhes fornecer empregados para a loja;

Os dois americanos estão a equacionar as vantagens do suicídio porque a americana só se queixa do seu corpo, da verdadeira natureza do deles, e como a sua relação com a mãe tinha melhorado, e de que pelo menos os impostos baixaram e também não chove...

Os dois irlandeses dividiram a ilha em Norte e Sul e abriram uma destilaria. Eles não se lembram se sexo está no programa por ficar tudo um bocado embaciado depois de alguns litros de whisky de côco. Mas estão satisfeitos porque, pelo menos, os ingleses não se estão a divertir...



E quanto aos dois portugueses mais a portuguesa que também se encontravam na ilha?



Até agora não se passou nada porque os dois portugueses resolveram constituir uma comissão encarregada de decidir qual dos dois homens seria autorizado a requerer por escrito o estabelecimento de contactos íntimos com a mulher. Acontece que a comissão já vai na décima sétima reunião e até agora ainda nada decidiu até porque falta ainda aprovar as actas das cinco últimas reuniões sem as quais o processo não poderá andar para a frente.

Vale ainda a pena referir que de todas as reuniões, três foram dedicadas a eleger o presidente da comissão e respectivo assessor, quatro ficaram sem efeito dado ter-se chegado à conclusão que tinham sido violados alguns princípios de procedimento administrativo, 8 foram dedicadas a discutir e elaborar o regulamento de funcionamento da comissão e duas foram dedicadas a aprovar esse mesmo regulamento.

É ainda notável que muitas das reuniões não puderam ser realizadas ou concluídas já que:

duas não continuaram por falta de quórum, uma ficou a meio em sinal de protesto por Timor e cinco coincidiram com feriados ou dias de ponte.

MAM-SP busca brasilidade de Tarsila e Di em nova mostra